Some mistakes made by foreign students when speaking English

I spend a lot of time listening to Czech people speak English. It is my job after all. Patient, professional and courteous as I think I am (99% of the time at least), there are a couple of common errors that Czechs make which really grate on my nerves. In the interest of – well, I’m not really sure what exactly – helping others? having a bit of a moan? – I’m going to share some my pet hates with you all here.

1. Notebook. This is a small item made of paper. It has pages. It cannot be plugged in nor hooked up to the internet. Notebook means blok, in British English at least. Please *stop* using this word when you want to say laptop.

2. Meeting, appointment. You do not have a meeting with your friend at the cinema tomorrow. Or an appointment. You have meetings at work. Equally, you make an appointment with your doctor. Or your hairdresser. Or your accountant or chiropodist or tax inspector. An appointment is not a social arrangement. Ok?

3. Schoolmate. This word does exist in English but we never use it. We would always say, ‘someone I was at school with’ not ‘my ex-schoolmate’. It sounds very weird – perverted almost – to listen to a fifty year old man talking about how he’s going to have dinner with his schoolmates, former or otherwise on a Friday night. I imagine them all sitting around their local hospoda in school uniforms acting out bizarre fantasies. Stop it. Now.

4. Fantasy. Speaking of fantasies, avoid telling someone English that you have a lot of them. Unless you find them overwhemingly attractive. The word you’re probably looking for is ‘imagination’. ‘Fantasies’ in this context has unfortunate sexual connotations.

#wedding